Christmas

Christmas.



A time of joy and love and generosity. A time to remember the birth of Christ and to show others we care for them and exchange gifts.



My first Christmas with Lachlan.



I was both nervous and excited. I looked at the present I had wrapped for him and shook my head over and over again. Such a ridiculous gift. He would surely think I'm some kid after today. A glow-in-the-dark teddy dressed in a ridiculously over-priced Spiderman outfit & Nooma DVDs? Surely that couldn't be my gift to the man who had made my life so worthwhile for the past 6 months?!



Constrained to the dollars I made at Best & Less, I couldn't really afford anything fancy and I still didn't want to make things a "big deal", seeing as there was no deal to make big yet...



~sigh



I looked at the gift again and gave up. This was the best I could do and I was going to be so embarrassed when he opened it. Maybe I could become invisible for the moments following its unwrapping so that I don't have to make eye contact with him and explain myself...



Dressing up in a brand new hot pink and black party dress my mum and dad had bought me as their gift, we headed off to church to meet Lachlan and join in the service. He looked so handsome that morning- once he finally decided to show up anyway. I was a little worried that he wasn't going to make it in time for the service, and he nearly didn't because he was enjoying a late breakfast with his parents and lost track of time.



He was wearing a grey jacket and light blue shirt. His eyes were so bright and alive and his smile- gosh it made my heart melt all over again. Motioning to the empty seat next to me, I got him to sit down and we enjoyed the beautiful Christmas service singing songs and watching the kids show our pastor their gifts.



After the service we headed back to my house, and I got the privilege of riding in his dad's Mercedes. I hardly moved, for fear of doing something which might in fact break the car. Perhaps this was a slight over-reaction but in my mind ANYTHING could happen (or subsequently break) whenever I was around!



I did however pull down the viser to look at the mirror and ensure I didn't look too ridiculous. As I pulled it down however, the whole mirror FELL OUT! I sat there freaking out with the broken mirror in my lap. Lachlan, too, was starting to panic that I had broken something in the car! My stomach sank...how on earth could I afford to fix anything in a Mercedes? How on earth could I ever face his father again?!



Suddenly Lachlan started laughing. I was so confused and asked him what was so funny. He then told me that the mirror always falls out and had been broken for ages. Oh, and my face had apparently been 'priceless'...



We pulled up to my house, and quickly before we alighted from the car, Lachlan turned to me and said, "OK, Christina. I love your parents. But I have to admit something..."



"Yes?"



"I'm a little nervous."



"Why? You've been over heaps of times! What's so different about Christmas?"



"I've never done the whole family-celebrating-holidays with any of my girlfriends before."



"Well, I'm not your girlfriend yet, so don't worry." I tried reassuring him.



He smiled and we headed inside. I stayed close to him and tried everything to make sure he was comfortable. I think he soon got over his nerves once we sat down for lunch. Nothing was different and I think he was glad it was casual and fun.



After lunch came the moment I had been dreading however. He looked at his gift and smiled. Opening the gift he began laughing. Great. He thought I was ridiculous. Grabbing me in a massive hug he thanked me for the gift and said he loved it. Surprised, but very happy I began laughing and tried to explain the gift. He didn't care. He was happy.



Then I got to open my gift from him. It was light and squishy. Pulling it out of the wrapping paper, I found myself in possession of the most hilarious T-shirt. It said "I <3 my geek."

I asked him if he thought he was in fact that geek. He affirmed that he indeed did think so. I confirmed his thoughts. After spending a little longer at my place, Lachlan and I then headed off to spend the rest of the evening at his place with his parents.

We ate and enjoyed the company. It was a really lazy and enjoyable afternoon. Looking at his parents, he announced that he was taking me downstairs to give me my other present. Curious and surprised, I looked at him questionly as he dragged me along down to his room.

I stood in the doorway and waited. He pulled out a large A5 size card.

I thanked him for it and opened it up. Inside was a gift certificate to climb the Harbour Bridge! I was blown away at this expensive and thoughtful gift. Looking up at him I smiled but found no words coming out.

It was one of those times where time stood still and a million thoughts raced through my mind per second, and I took the time to argue with each of those thoughts.

Just say it. You have to now. How can you not tell him how you feel after everything he's done this year? After spending so much on a gift?

I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him profusely for the present. I was overwhelmed. Pausing I then said, "You know, you know that I love you, right?"

He looked down at me and said, "You really should be careful about what you say,"

I was shattered! For a split second I was crushed and then I became angry. How could he say that? How could that be his response?

Before I could say anything else, he leaned down and he kissed me. Properly. I stood there shaking; both in my unnecessary and momentary anger, and in shock at was just happening!

I was kissing Lachlan! He was kissing me!

Pulling back, he looked at me and said, "I love you too Christina Parker."

I walked into my house later that night and my family was watching the movie, "Ever After". It was towards the end and the scene where Dannielle kisses her prince comes onto the screen.

"Ew! Kissing boys is disgusting! Don't you think Christina?" my little sister, Rebecca asked me.

"Oh yea. Really gross." I blushed.

After showing my parents my amazing gift I went into my room and closed the door. I closed my eyes. I smiled that whole night.

I had received a perfect gift. I would never forget that Christmas...

Rendezvous in Bethlehem

2008 was coming to close. It had been a fruitful and unexpected year, full of surprises and change. I was sad that such a year full of memories was finishing, but in many ways I was excited to be heading into a new year (and hopefully) and new stage in my relationship with Lachlan.

For many years now, my church had held a huge Christmas event for the Penrith community known as the Bethlehem Experience. This event was always a favourite of mine. The church built a fairly large "city" in the middle of the paddock, which represented the city of Bethlehem at the time of the birth of Jesus Christ. There are many actors, animals, sights, smells and sounds which add to the "reality" of the experience.

For the first time I would be acting in Bethlehem as an oil merchant. I was so excited. Lachlan was going to be a fishmonger. When we looked at the layout of the city, however, we realised that we were actually fairly far apart from each other in the city.

Together we planned our "secret" rendezvous in which we would meet up somewhere and play thumbwars aka bask in each other's pathetically in-love presence.

The week leading up to the Bethlehem Experience was a little bumpy however. Lachlan and I decided that we definitely wanted to "officially" announce our relationship properly. It wasn't like anything we did together would change- we were an item. We just wanted a date to celebrate it with now!

Mum was still hesitant about the whole thing and told me to talk to my youth pastor and get her perspective on the situation. I did so, and nothing really changed. Everyone still thought we may as well wait to help us deal with the "pressures" of relationships. In my mind that made absolutely no sense! I would be hiding more if I wasn't officially in a relationship with this boy more than if I was! At least if I was going out with him I could kiss him in public and not be crucified...

Depressed and despondant, Lachlan and I headed into the Bethlehem Experience week rather melancholy and defeated. Would we EVER be together?

The acting was lots of fun despite the issue of our relationship hanging over my head. I spent more time "helping" the fishmongers out more than doing my part in the oil stall. It was pathetic to be sure, but it made me very happy, and the special moments where Lachlan and I could just talk and laugh together were so precious! It certainly DID NOT help my longing to be with him.

After the long week of late nights, memorizing lines and laughing endlessly with my best friend, I was totally exhausted. Not to mention my failed attempt at procuring a relationship with Lachlan did not help at all. I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Christmas was only a few days away (where I would have to meet all his family again and be perfect again) and I lay there just praying that something might happen and I would receive the present of a lifetime.

The Other Half

So my thanksgiving adventure with Lachlan's family was successful. I hadn't done anything completely stupid and his lovely family seemed to like me, which I thought was a huge bonus!


However, my task of winning of family was not quite finished. The following week I was invited to Wes' (Lachlan's dad) 50th birthday party, which included his mother's side of the family. Needless to say, I was still nervous. Biting the bullet was a bit hard to do, because I now had a reputation with his mum and dad, and either that was to be exceeded greatly at this dinner, or it was to fall apart with, what would most likely be, my own foolish ways and words.

The Saturday night arrived, and it was cold and wet, which was a little disappointing for the end of November. Lachlan escorted me into the Lebonese restuarant, and we were greeted with smiles and kisses once more.

There were many fond memories of that night, and I am glad to say that all went well, despite my nerves. I did drop my knife at some point throughout the evening, and luckily only Lachlan noticed. However the embarrassment was still plain as day upon my complexion.

I made good friends with his Aunt Cheryl, as she and I both shared a fondness for felines. I will say, though, her passion ran a little deeper than mine, and I will admit I feared that one day I could end up like her. So I just prayed that Lachlan and I would stick...

Lachlan's grandmother (his mother's mother) was also there, and was the sweetest lady I had met. I felt terrible halfway through dinner, however, because of my lack of compassion.

While eating her food, Granny, (who was quite hard of seeing, and hearing), reached out for what, I assume, she thought was a mild green vegetable. She had, in fact, grabbed a very hot chili.

Popping the deadly spice into her mouth, she remained quite composed at first, and then proceeded to spit the chili out and cool her tongue off, in the most absurd and humourous fashion. Lachlan and I sat opposite her, and were the only ones who had noticed this event at first. We tried so hard....please believe me! We tried our very hardest not to laugh, but eventually giggles spilled slightly.

Poor Granny. We were truly terrible people!

Apart from our lack of compassion, his family seemed to enjoy my company and I do believe I made a second first good impression. That night I decided to breathe again. The 2 week challenge of families was over. It was quite relieving and comforting to know that I could be liked in another family other than my own.

And it was comforting to know that Lachlan believed I was special enough to be introduced to them. It made feel loved very much indeed. One day I would gain the courage to tell him that...

Thanksgiving

The year was passing by quickly and slowly. In reality it had been quite a fast year, but in my mind I felt like time between Lachlan and I making things 'official' was crawling by at a snail's pace. However, November came and holidays for Christmas were soon looming.

At the end of October Lachlan had informed me that at the end of November his family was having Thanksgiving lunch with his dad's family and I was invited. I had also been invited out for his dad's 50th birthday with his mum's family the following week (which will be another post). I would be meeting his entire family in the space of 7 days.

Needless to say I was a little nervous.

To help me cope with these two seemingly HUGE events in my head, my darling friend Jo took me on a shopping date. I spent well over $200 on clothes and shoes and accessories to cater for the two dates. I had to look up-to-date and reasonably in tune with the latest fashion. If only I had the money to keep that up today...

I woke up so early the Sunday morning of Thanksgiving and had the longest shower of my life. Every hair on my head had to be indiviually washed and conditioned. I had to scrub enough to the point where I would be glowing.

My beautiful sister, Emily helped me out by drying and styling my hair nicely and then applying on a tonne of make-up. I felt like a celebrity, and loved how excited my family was for me. They were simply fluttering all over me. If they were so excited about me meeting his family, why wouldn't they let me go out with the boy?!

Never mind...

After spending a short time helping to set kids church up with my family, Lachlan arrived to pick me up. Nervously I left and hopped into his car. We arrived at his house and I got to meet his sister, her boyfriend and their cousins Ariel and Nick along with his Aunt Linda and her partner Mark. Although meeting all these people all at once slightly overwhelmed me, I had to stay cool. There was still more people to meet at his grandparent's home.

Plus, so far no one had been awfully mean to me. In fact, everyone were completely friendly! Eventually we were on our way to lunch, which I had actually physically prepared for. Growing up with a Hungarian background taught me very quickly that if there is any sort of lunch/dinner get-together that the stomach remains empty until that time.

We held hands as we walked up the drive to the entry of his grandparent's home. We were first greeted by his beautiful Nana. He introduced me as his girlfriend and I nearly fell over with joy. She kissed me hello and welcomed us in. Soon I was kissing every other relative in the house. His aunts, uncles, cousins and friends were everywhere!

Although I was obviously clinging closely to my man, I had to keep telling myself to be a little brave. I mentally promised myself a cherry ripe chocolate at the end if I did. So I tried my best to try and talk to people around me, especially Nana.

I think we got along really well, and soon I was eating, drinking and laughing as if I had known them all for years. The only embarrassing time I had at the lunch was when we first sat down at the table. I went to pick up my knife or move it or something (I can't actually remember) but the next thing I knew, it was clanging on the floor.

I felt so stupid.

Quietly Lachlan leaned over, smirking at my fumble and whispered, "Fallacy". I cracked up. Although fallacy was not the correct description of the incident, it sounded right, as if that was exactly what you were meant to say when someone drops a piece of cutlery on the ground.

We always use that word out of context now at the table whenever we eat. It has become our "oh dear, how embarrassing," term.

Lunch finished and I soon found myself being offered a slice of pumpkin pie. There were two problems...no three problems to this:

1) I was so full I doubted my ability to fit any more food into my stomach

2) I hated pumpkin as a general rule

3) I wanted to impress Lachlan and do everything right no matter the cost.

I accepted the generous offer and sat down. I picked off a bit, held my breath, opened my mouth and ate the dessert.

I literally opened my eyes in sheer delight. That experience- the flavours, texture, EVERYTHING- was amazing! I had never tasted anything like it before. I loved it! I now regretted being so full, because I would have gladly accepted a second slice. I now look forward to my once-a-year slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. It is the one thing I can always be assurred will be fantastic in my year.

The end of the afternoon came and the goodbyes followed. I had had the best time, and felt so grateful that meeting half his family had been so good. Afterwards, Lachlan told me that Nana had pulled him aside and asked if he thought I was going to stick around. He said he hoped so. She agreed and said she hoped I would be his last girlfriend.

I hoped so too.

Being Honest

It took me a good two and a half days to write the letter.

I don't remember how neat my writing was, but I do remember ensuring that I carefully planned each word which went down on to the paper. This was going to be an important letter, and I couldn't make any mistakes.

So I wrote it all down, as many details as I could remember. I believe there are more details I could have included, and many of them I can think of now. But I didn't include them because my mind had blocked them out. And it is only now, nearly seven years later, that my mind is healing enough for me to painfully remember, and slowly recover.

So I sealed the envelope.

I mailed it off.

He needed to know the hurt and baggage I was carrying. Because if I never told him, I would ruin the happiness we were enjoying.

Two days after I had posted the letter, he called me. He had just finished reading it.

He told me how sorry he was, and how much he wanted to show me that everything would be safe with him. I would never again be hurt that way again.

And I knew I could trust him, because he didn't reject me despite my past.

It was the biggest relief, and the happiest moment I had ever had. I could feel safe once more.

Late nights

September passed and we headed into October. The month of many, many late nights.

For once since our 'relationship' had begun, school had become useful and helpful. As I had started my HSC curriculum at school I found myself swamped with homework, assignments and random essays constantly. For the majority of most nights I was cooped up in my bedroom trying to stay on top of it all.

By the time I had finished my family had usually gone to bed (of course, 9:30pm was a late night for them, so it wasn't hard to work through their goodnights). I soon found this to my own advantage, because I could shut my door and have all the privacy in the world. Private phone calls soon began.

For the first couple of nights we didn't talk for long, because we were still wary of my parents waking up and finding out I was using up my credit quicker than the Sun dries water. However, as time passed I mastered the art of sneaking through the house, stealing the house phone and calling Lachlan for free.

I thought I was pure genius.

Since I had given us more free time to talk we had to figure out ways in which we could fill up time effectively.

The real genius, that being Lachlan, stepped up to the plate and invented our 'game'. We still play this game, and I often cheat. I can't help it; he taught me all the bad habits I know.
I am certain that other people play the same game as we do, but we love it and always manage to make it special.

The 'game' was a question game, where we would take turns asking the other person a question. Our questions certainly started out very simple and easy, but as we grew to know each other more, the questions became more complicated. And soon we became so comfortable around each other that we both said things which embarrassed us greatly.

The first embarrassment was to be experienced for yours truly.

I had just gotten off the phone after a lengthy, wondersul 2-hour conversation into the early hours of the morning. I reached for my mobile phone, and with great excitement sent a text message to my sister sleeping down the hallway. The text message said:

"Oh my goodness! I just spent the last 2 hours talking to my future husband!"

Emily never replied, and I wasn't surprised. 1am messags are often hard to reply to. However, she did not forget the text message at all. That week I came to youth on the Friday night and found Emily talking to Lachlan. Walking up to them I asked what was going on.

Emily then proceeded to tell me that she had shown him my text message. I remember that moment so clearly in my mind. I felt sick; so sick I nearly ran to the bathroom out of extreme humiliation. I was so angry and upset! That message was never EVER meant to be seen by his eyes!

The rest of the night I was so moody, upset and awful to be around. I thought that this would probably mean the end of things. He wouldn't want to be around a crazy girl who came across as if she was already planning their wedding.

However, the tables soon turned (thankfully!).

The following week, as we chatted quietly on the phone, we got on to the subject of Maths and English.

My darling Lachlan, the poor delusional man, was a fan, enthuisast and lover of all things mathematical. He certainly needed much love and prayer in my books. I am the English girl. I love reading, writing and creativity.

Anyway, I was explaining to Lachlan (well, actually it was more like lamenting) how today's children are losing the art of English and speaking, reading or writing properly because of technology. If you have ever spent any short amount of time with Lachlan, you would know that he is a computer nerd. And I was attacking his beloved technology. He took up arms.

As we debated the subject, he stumbled and brought us to a one-all draw in the embarrassed books.

Exhasperated he said, "Well at least we know that our children will have..."

I stopped mid-sentence and listened to the silence on his end of the phone. Then I began to laugh hysterically at his innocent blunder in referencing to our future 'children'. He was so embarrassed! And I do believe he grew quite tired of my constant laughing and told me to stop. It was not funny!

Finally we both agreed that the draw had come and we moved on from the two incidents as if they had never happened. But I'll always remember our blunders. Our blunders made us more real and open with each other.

And it was time I was more open with him than I had ever been before.

Exo Day

I am no fan of crowds. In fact I would rather eat a bowl of disgusting, evil Weet-bix than get caught (and most likely drown) in a sea of people.

So, although Exo Day is a fun day to hang out with friends from church, it is one event that I don't always find enjoyable, simply because thousands of people attend. However, as I was a youth leader I needed to go to watch out for some young girls I was in charge of. Plus he was going. Always the bonus.

It was the most miserable weather! Rain bucketing down, and literally 3 spaces for shelter. After trying to 'enjoy' the shower by exploring the rides, music and food stalls, we all chickened out and headed to an empty shed where rappers and BMX bikers were singing/riding to their heart's content.

Although neither rap music, nor fancy tricks on BMX bikes interested me, I was just glad to be dry-ish...well at least no wetter than before. But it was still chilly from winter and my jacket was no longer providing me with sufficient warmth.

Our group, which consisted of about 8 people including Lachlan, Joanne and some other friends from school, the girls I was watching and myself, soon found our 'spot', claimed it and sat down. We had no intention of moving at all until the night was over, which wouldn't happen for another 3-4hours. I was OK with that, because I am lazy and can just sit in one spot for ages and do absolutely nothing. I don't know how the others felt about it, but I didn't really care.

I was staying put.

Not long after we had settled, Lachlan and Joanne were hankering for some ice-cream. I thought they were insane because it was so cold, however off they went to get their creamy delight.

When they came back I was given the most thoughtful surprise! Lachlan had searched far and wide until he returned with a towel. Wrapping myself in it I was drying off and warming up quickly. It was the sweetest gift he had given me!

Of course toward the end of the night he and some of the other guys had gotten into this weird mood and were going slightly insane, but overall it was a great night.

That towel is my favourite of all towels I've ever owned.